Astrology according to me

victoryismine:

Aries - You’re like a fucking hyperactive child. Take 2 vicodin and call me in the morning.

Taurus - There is absolutely no talking to you. You’re stubborn and narrow-minded. Also possibly a Republican.

Gemini - If you could just fucking shut up for a second that would be great.

Cancer - Someone get this little shit a box of tissues.  You are the designated party pooper.

Leo - You are a bossy prick and you think you’re better than everyone else and should be in charge.  You shouldn’t.  You suck.

Virgo - You have no emotions.  You would’ve made a great Nazi.

Libra - You’re a frivolous slut.

Scorpio - Stay the hell away from me.  You’re terrifying and oversexed and psychotic.

Sagittarius - You’re so fucking overly optimistic it hurts to talk to you.

Capricorn - Holy fuck you’re boring.

Aquarius - You think you’re “unique,” but you’re just a huge asshole.

Pisces - You live in your own world where it’s okay to constantly cry about your problems and not do anything about them.  Grab a tissue from Cancer.

Feb 03. 11 Notes.

Notes

  1. croonforaccoon reblogged this from dirt-soup and added:
    kaleidoscope—-eyes:...Ohh, I just died LOLing. This is entirely too funny for me.
  2. dirt-soup reblogged this from warchildvintage
  3. kittyjensen reblogged this from warchildvintage and added:
    I am totally at fault for over-mystifying astrology and secretly (not so secretly, now) loving it, however, when people...
  4. spookyscaary reblogged this from panoplex and added:
    hahahahahahahha i love this.
  5. warchildvintage reblogged this from panoplex
  6. panoplex posted this